Hi! Welcome back.
Let’s get a few facts straight
Dealing with abuse and its affects is difficult. If you are on your journey of healing (or recovery), you know that what you are doing is hard. First of all, you are a trooper and a true warrior. You are a tough and tenacious. Further more, you ought to be commended. Few people really want to change themselves. Most people are content to be who they are with all their faults and to never really address the reasons why they are so sensitive, irritable – fill in the blank with any adjective that you please. But, that is not you. Rather, you are dissatisfied with yourself, and you want more for your life. You willingly accept personal responsibility for your actions despite what others did to you. Although you were a victim, you refuse to stay a victim. At some point you need to be very honest and real with yourself. At some point, we must realize where the thorns are. This is the motive for this tough love talk. At some point I had to realize where the thorns were. So, here we go.
A few more tough love facts
I am laying these facts out because, as I venture into this blog, we will dive very deeply into some very serious issues. See my initial posts here and here for more detail. This journey is not going to be easy, and I need to give you a tough love talk so you can get through. On the whole, I intend to talk about deep issues that affect us at a heart level, and I want you to understand and appreciate yourself, where you come from, where you are going, and where you are at present. Recovering from abuse is difficult. It takes a lot of introspection, honesty, willingness, and tenacity – a lot of tough love talk. You have to be willing to do what it takes whether it be going to counseling, journaling, saying yes to new things, saying no to old things, making time for yourself, setting boundaries, trusting yourself, or reading your bible again.
You are not alone
Remember, You are not alone in your journey. I personally did everything mentioned in the list above. Saying no and yes appropriately were probably the hardest things. I forced myself to be honest about what happened – how I felt about the people that were involved, how I operated as a result – all of which were extremely difficult to swallow. Yet, it was all necessary. It had to be done. I had to do those things to heal, and I realized I am too valuable to be weighed down and held captive by all that happened to me. The Bible says that we are valuable to God (See Psalm 139). Christ died to forgive sins (I John 4:10) so he could reach the victims and free the captives. If you do not want to feel alone, read the Bible and allow God’s presence to fill your life. If you are feeling stuck and need the human element, you are always welcome to send me a note.
Call to Action
Honestly, make your own list of all the things you have had to do to get to this point. Do not overlook the small stuff that you did. Stated another way, give value to anything that you did up to this point. Here are some questions to help you get started making your list about your healing journey so far.
- What books did you read that helped you process the abuse and move forward?
- Did you stop any bad habits?
- Did you start any good habits?
- Were any people influential in your healing?
I created a template for you to do some journaling. Download it here. It is free. Make as many copies as you need. It’s also editable on your computer.
Hang in There
So, hang in there. Be patient with yourself instead of judging yourself. Give yourself grace and space to be imperfect and un-healed, because sooner or later you will break through. Some of my biggest break throughs took years to happen. I started 20 years ago on my healing journey, and some of my biggest break throughs are just happening after years of smaller break throughs and after building a solid foundation underneath my feet so that I could put roots down and flourish.
Psalm 40:1-2
1I waited patiently for the Lord;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
2He drew me up from the desolate pit,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
